Is decluttering a priority? Is self-care a priority? Are you getting the important done vs the urgent?
If you are not getting done what is important to you, consider if you have set boundaries and if you are saying “no” enough.
Many of us have a demanding time turning requests (people) down. And this impacts our ability to get our own priorities completed.
Here are suggestions for ways to form healthy (and guilt-fee) boundaries
- Learn how to identify your emotions. How does saying “no” make you feel. This knowledge of how you are feeling can help your response.
- Focus on you by clarifying your needs so you can evaluate requests based on what you want such as more time for yourself or how you will benefit by agreeing to the request if you choose to do so.
- Identify your fear (I won’t be liked) and put your fear in perspective (eliminate generalizations)
- Notice how others set boundaries and let that mentor you or model for you.
- Creating space between the request and your response by telling the person you will get back with them with your response.
- Be honest when saying no by letting someone know that you are overextended.
- Keep your response simple such as “I am not able to fit that into my schedule.”
- Provide an alternative suggestion vs you completing the request. Maybe suggest another colleague with the appropriate skills level or another process.
- Say no to “small” requests first to build your “no muscle.”
Of course, you can be nice and say no. Just focus on your feelings and “I” messages when delivering the news.